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On June 15th, I did something unprecedented and tweeted as if I was a Radio Disney DJ for the entire day. From the hours of 8 AM to midnight, I dished on Disney “celebrities” and taught kids important lessons about their growing bodies. Therefore, it is with great pleasure that I have declared June 15 to be Radio Disney Day! Below, I’ve compiled all of my Radio Disney tweets from the day. My DJ name? “The Manic Hispanic”.

The time is currently 8:09 am. If you’re just joining us, I’m the Manic Hispanic, and this is Radio Disney.

This morning on Radio Disney: Just how springy is Corbin Bleu’s hair? Also, which Wizard of Waverly Place would you most like to punch?

Coming up on Radio Disney, we have Selena Gomez’s new single, which was written by a team of veteran songwriters and sung by a computer.

Today’s Radio Disney profile is on Justin Timberlake, a Disney child star who DIDN’T start snorting crystal meth once he turned 18.

Radio Disney Question of the day: Why did Christy Carlson Romano’s career stagnate after “Kim Possible”? Answer: Small tits.

Radio Disney reminds you that you can say “fart-weiner” on the air, but not “shit-dick”.

At Radio Disney we firmly believe that the original ending to “Lilo & Stitch”, where Stitch eats Lilo, was better than the theatrical ending.

Smirnoff Ice is the official drink of Radio Disney and little girls everywhere.

Radio Disney is proud to present the following puberty tips (a.k.a. #Pubertips) to our younger listeners!

Are you growing pubic hair? The quickest way to rid yourself of annoying fuzz is to use homemade napalm. Like Nair, but quicker! #Pubertips

Deepening voice got you down? Fill a plastic bag with helium, shove your head in, and breathe until you can’t breathe anymore! #Pubertips

Bleeding from the vajay but are too embarrassed to ask for tampons? Shove some beef jerky in there. It’ll hold a lot of moisture. #Pubertips

Is your lanky growing body feeling uncoordinated? Nail your feet to giant wooden boards and you’ll never fall over! #Pubertips

Unwanted boners making you uncomfortable? Krazy glue your penis to your thigh and no one will be able to tell when you’re erect! #Pubertips

Can’t stop having wet dreams? Wear a condom when you sleep! Re-use them, it’s good for the environment. #Pubertips

It’s 11:55 PM. It’s time for Radio Disney to sign off. If you’ve been listening all day, Mickey Mouse has impregnated you via your earholes.