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Watson

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Just because I remembered to quote a famous poem by some dead person doesn’t mean this is going to be a well-written final entry in my oft-praised “14 Days of Black People” series. No, this series must end soon, as I’ll soon be retreating to my bomb shelter, and WiFi won’t pass through the faraday cage. You see, today marks a historic occasion: Watson began competing on “Jeopardy” against all-time champions Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter. The match is broken up into three parts, but at the end of part 1, Watson was tied for the lead with $5,000.

 What the hell is wrong with IBM? How long do I have to warn people about the inevitable robot rising before they actually listen to me? I feel that for a lot of people my age, it’s “cool” to harbor an irrational fear of zombies. Look, I saw “28 Day Later”, and that was completely fictional. The worst disease that monkeys will give us is AIDS, not zombie-fication. Have you guys even heard of the technological singularity? it’s inevitable that the exponential growth of artificial intelligence leads to the creation of superintelligence. Do you know what happens then? Ever seen “The Matrix”? Listened to Gary Numan’s “Down in the Park”? Perhaps seen “THX 1138”? WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Oh, and before you complain about Watson not being black because he’s a computer, look at that avatar above. Totally black. Look at his case. Black-tastic. So, as I leave you all to become a bomb shelter-dwelling Luddite, I’d like to impart to you some final words of wisdom: It’s not the content of your character that makes you black, nor your familiar background. It’s the color of your chassis that matters. Thank you, and head for the hills where Skynet won’t catch you.