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Samuel Jackson

Thank you for joining me on this fine day. I’m sure you’re probably wondering why the title of today’s post says “14 Days of Black People” instead of the previously-used “28 Days”. Well, I know it may be a bit late in the game, but I’ve decided to call an audible. 28 Days is simply way too long for me to commit to something. Do you ever wonder why I’m never in a committed relationship? “Because you can barely repress your homosexuality?” What? No, shut up. It’s because I’m a borderline nihilist with the attention span of a coked-up 5-year-old. Also, I’ve written 3,462 words since I started this series. That’s roughly an 11-page essay. I’m not even that motivated to write essays for school. I know this because I have an essay due at the end of the month that I’ve barely started.

So, in these final days of “14 Days of Black People”, I’d like to focus on some of the most legendary black people ever. And, who could be better than Samuel Jackson? Here’s a guy who’s a capable actor and has starred in some amazing movies (see: “Pulp Fiction”), but he’ll still do campy movies (“Snakes on a Plane”, “Deep Blue Sea”) just because he can. And he makes them better because of his mere presence. Would anyone have seen “Snakes on a Plane” if Samuel Jackson hadn’t starred in it? I saw that movie in theaters with A WOMAN, and I didn’t even make a move because I was too fixated on Mr. Jackson and his immense stage presence. Also, she was brunette, and can you think of anything more boring than that?

It’s funny. In some ways, I see Nic Cage as the white counterpart to Sam Jackson. They’re both good actors who frequently take on shitty roles in shitty movies. The difference is that Jackson can elevate an abysmal movie to mediocrity, whereas Cage… Well, did you see “Ghost Rider”? I still feel like Marvel owes me money for seeing that. I’m so going to pirate “Thor” now that I’ve remembered this. That’s right, Stan Lee. Suck on that for a minute. To close, here are three of my favorite Samuel Jackson quotes:

“YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!”

“SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN. SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! SAY ‘WHAT’ ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!”

“I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!”